King of the Dorks

The best thing about not having any real friends within >300km is that you can be a complete and utter dork and there’s no one to give you shit for it. To explain, I’ll start as always on a negative note (are there ever any positives to these posts?) Yesterday was pretty much the worst day ever, which is surprising because no one died.

I’ll just list all the factors:

- Mood started off at zero, half due to the fact I was paid a week late and spent 8 days with $0.99 to my name. Half due to the fact that due to the aforementioned poverty, I haven’t had my zoloft for over a week and STILL can’t afford the scripts. Even if I had the money, I can’t even find the fucking things. Coming off hard hurts a fuckton more than easing off slowly, which sucks anyway. My last doctor upped my doseage from 100mg to 150mg, but Zoloft (or any generic sertraline) doesnt come in 150, it’s 100 and 50. So that’s doubled the cost of my scripts. Plus, if I can’t find these scripts I’ll have to return to a doctor to acquire new ones, which will be about $80. So $80, plus $30 each for the actual drugs, that’s $140 that I still won’t have for another week.

- Got berated all day by the Panjabi Hitler who operates under the guise of shift supervisor at the supermarket. Apparently not knowing the ins and outs of that place on FUCKING DAY TWO is unacceptable. It got the point where I adjusted my attitude from “must get everything spot on” to “devil may give a flying fuck if I’m only charging people for 90% of their groceries.

- Did actually get paid, but had to immediately give up $400 to repay the use of my mum’s credit card that I’d been using as I was broke for ages. Also overdue board. I still have god-knows how much to pay her after a ~50min phone call to a mobile in SA last week…. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

- Some fucknut stole my half-empty pack of cigarettes from the locker room at work, but at least had the decency to leave my more important booty. Not to say the smokes aren’t important, and if any of you argue otherwise, violence will result.

- Found the best t-shirt I’ve seen in a while in town (off-tap Pac-Man munching a line of capsules), but the only size they had was L and I totally wanted M…. bought it anyway. Ok that one’s not so bad, but it all adds up!

- Got half-way home on my 30yo bicycle when the gears or whatever locked up and sent me flying sideways into a median strip, in front of the many amused rush-hour motorists. Unhurt, but the bike didn’t make it, had to walk the rest of the way and wash all my clothes AGAIN when I got home. – Continued to try to sort the pay-slip related headfuck with other workplace, resulting in rage and unhelpful comments from mum. – My watch stopped. Won’t start again. NFI what its problem is.

- Realised that the Dragon Dreaming psy-doof thingy I’d been looking forward to is this weekend and I’d let myself become broke again…. so that’s out.

- Back to lack of drugs, as well as not having the prescribed ones I’m also out of oxy and weed. Foolishly when I DID have oxy, I also had boredom, so munched and sniffed my way through 800mg in 6 days. So very ashamed. In the end it wasn’t even doing anything except induce nausea and fatigue. At least now I’m not as afraid of vomiting as I used to be.

GO TIM!

Ok, some positives. Today was day 3 on checkout chick duty and it’s not so bad now that I have some vague idea of what I’m doing. Lulz came from the realisation that for most of the day I was the only anglo-aussie there, and most of the fellow anglo customers were coming to me. Subtle racism? Coincidence? I like the former, it’s more lulzy.

Scoffed a bunch of St John’s Wort that I keep for zoloftless emergencies, and today it actually worked. So I was a bit sunnier as the day wore on.

h wait, another negative: For lunch I decided to give HJs a go as I figured it was justifiable considering I havent eaten that shit in over a month. However, being a born-again vegetarian, I had to order a vegie burger. Dude. Total disappointment. I want my $8 back. And they used to be so good

Back to positivity. After overcoming my bad mood yesterday with a generous dose of H-Bomb with the volume cranked and six-pack of whisky/coke, I decided upon a concept for a new mix. So now I at least have something to fill my free time. Only thing I can really say about it is it’s gonna be fucking long. As of last night I had 95 tracks on the list, and there will be more to come. Unfortunately I can’t really give it much attention tonight as I finished at 8pm, and start at 8am tomorrow… Leaving a slim window where I just might be able to sleep for 5 hours or so. No, fuck you, it’s not 12 hours for sleep. I get up at 6am for 8am shifts, but it’s not even 10 hours because I won’t get to sleep before midnight, especially with nothing to help me along to the land of nod.

Since my bike is boned, I had to ride the even OLDER bike to work today. To make matters worse, it’s a girl’s bike. However, I’ve decided I like it more. The seat is bike and springy, the gears actually work, and it has a massive-ass bell about the size of a decent apple. Not some piss-weak ding-ding number either, I’m talking PPPRPRPRPRPPRIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!! Dat bell be bad-ass ringin’ n shit. Plus I decided this bike has even more retro appeal than the other.

This brings me to the post title and opening paragraph, which surely by now have been completely lost on you. See with this ancient girl-bike with huge bell, business slacks tucked into my socks to prevent chain rippage, knock-off raybans that are essential to fight sunlight during my commute (and are the only sunnies I own), helmet designed for a 12yo, hideous green tie flapping in the wind… I’m pretty much the dorkiest guy on the road for an hour each day. But there’s no one to pay me out for it, and I’m confident that if a stranger did, depending on their stature, my pent up stress from the past fortnight would unleash itself upon them.

A physical ejaculatory storm of foul language and violent release would suddenly be upon them, and the imagery of this possible scenario fills me with joy. Hell when I stacked it yesterday I was actually hoping some jerk would make a wise comment just so I’d have something to take out the frustration on. I’m not a very threatening guy either, and would most likely get my ass kicked, but my theory was that the whole baby-trapped-under-car-so-mother-lifts-car adrenalin thing would kick in, promoting even more lulz. So er… like… eh screw it. I’m now distracted by the Chronicles of Narnia on tv.

Totally forgot where this post was going. Considering moving this crap to WordPress (edit: LOL HERE IT IS) or something, just because I desire the ability for unregistered readers to post comments. Not even sure if WordPress allows that. Meh.

Point is, my supermarket stocks nos bulbs.